HEY SANTA! I’M DOWN HERE!

New Zealand

While you were experiencing the blog-version of radio silence, I was meeting cult-radio DJ/secret musician/lifestyle influencer Amelia Discrete (of previously-raved-about radio station 95bFM fame) at a pre-work live jam that took place outside of a record store on Queen Street last Friday!! There was heaps o’ filter coffee and an ill-advised introduction that went: “Hi Amelia!Big fan!Starstruck!Byeee.” #Friendshup

Additionally, I met a charismatic beach dog (did he love me or my sandwich??) and then trudged through literal mud for the sake of an ocean dunk. (I was too close to the marina, it turns out. Not ideal on the foot-feel.) I developed a quick bout of e.coli poisoning–I’m better now!– and facilitated an employee-wide Tim Tam slam event during a shift at work right beneath my manager’s nose and lived to speak of the tale! I took a classic holiday stroll in 70 degree weather and saw one house standing among the effortfully (surely that’s a word) lighted yards/ porches/ shrubbery with a sign that said “Ditto” and an arrow pointing next door, which deserves something like a fruit basket. Then, in my most charitable act of 2017, I painted a 6-foot wooden panel in the center of St. Kevin’s Arcade; the panels are part of an artist collaboration which fit together to form a Christmas tree and are about to be auctioned off to support a cool organization that feeds people, so that’s that!

This brings me to the strange fact that it’s basically Christmas but it’s also summer here in Auckland and I correspondingly feel like a weird little puppet whose internal clock is telling her to wear flannel, bobbing along in front of sunny-as scenery and time is a sham and everyone is just pretending to be on the same page of the calendar BUT WE MIGHT AS WELL BE IN A FESTIVE BOTTLE OF GLITTER-WATER THAT WE MADE IN ART CLASS. (Did you ever do that? I remember my bottle leaking.)

People are working on their holiday tans while wearing snowflake earrings; there’s an 8 foot Christmas tree on the beachfront; yesterday my roommate turned on the air-con. It’s a real hullabaloo! I’ve enacted a practice of late where I sit down for 20 minutes a day and do nothing but listen to Christmas carols to force that damn holiday spirit. It’s like a warped, jazzy form of meditation and I think it’s working! Although it may or may not be 10PM on December 24th as I write this from my bed eating a taco; you can infer what you want about the height of my spirit this holiday season.

If you came for updates on the mobile, I have the following news to report: there is very little news to report, except that I made a clay bit (from clay I found) and a stripey bit (from the sleeves of a t-shirt I Edward Scissorhands’d aka cut.) Guys! It’s called follow-through and I AM GAINING IT.

Experimentally yours,

Emily Johannesburg Pacheco (HAHA WHAT IF THAT WERE MY REAL NAME?!)

P.S. for any northern-Massachusetts-based garden elves and their lazy dogs who are reading this right now, I am sending several rays of sun your way with my mental might. ENJOY!

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Admin or what

New Zealand

Today marks the end of my second week in the Year of the Kiwi–an international/dual-cultural phenomenon locals are calling “What?” and “That’s not real”– and what a week it has been, amiright?

This installment sees our heroine (me) nab a job at a beachfront cafe due completely to the fact that my new flatmate might be the reigning mob boss of northern New Zealand. [ED. NOTE: This claim is unsubstantiated by science at present…] Copious fish&chips™ have been eaten, the term ‘jay-walking’ has been chopped from my vocabulary, a cute Kiwi boy has been smooched. I even took part in a thrilling escapade to convince the landlord a cat does not live here! MY!

Things weren’t all sheep and hobbits, though; this week has been chock-a-block with paperwork, applications and, in general, ADMIN. I also remain in a Mexican standoff with the Auckland transit system which will not allow me to be on time (or even on the right bus.) Satisfying progress on the flat’s 3rd jigsaw puzzle and the ridiculous soothing sounds of 95bFM radio’s Freak the Sheep and Amelia Discrete are the only cure.

#Live, Laugh, Louvre, my friends! Xoxo, Em-the-Phlegm

If you haven’t read Week 1, you can catch up here.

Like a haircut, but for your closet!

Style, Travel

ep earrings

Less is hard more!

(If you hadn’t heard, I’m moving to New Zealand in October.)

I put on a laissez-faire façade in re selling off most of my worldly possessions to prepare for traveling and in honesty, I really couldn’t have laissez-faired less about downsizing, on the whole.  The thought of parting with bits of my precious and tediously culled wardrobe, though, gave me a near damn heart attack. It now seems to me that the success of such an endeavor might hinge on putting a pin in shopping for a minute or two.

This aha-moment came to me when I realized–by the aid of an extremely stringent pre-travel budget Google Doc manifesto drawn up by a dear friend, bless her, which laid out what I was and wasn’t allowed to spend money on anymore–that even infrequent shopping sprees would not do if I wanted to afford the plane ticket.

It has been six months and I have acquired precious little since agreeing to aforementioned manifesto (my, I am obnoxious today.) Without the siren call of a new garment begging to be worn, I’ve identified the items I repeatedly reach for based on a true fondness for said items. These items now form the basis of my travel wardrobe. Get out of town!

Coming in as an orgasmic surprise to all parties involved, I actually don’t miss the things I’ve tossed. The trick now is finding new and interesting ways to wear the same combination of garms, by which of course I mean “garments.” *DISCLAIMER: This is not that thing where I don’t want people to think of me as an outfit repeater. Getting dressed is my Sudoku. Without this beguiling daily challenge I will develop early-onset Alzheimer’s, I just know it.

As the resident advice giver of this, my own personal blog on which no one else is allowed to give advice, I advise that–if you find yourself in this position–you accessorize, ya freaks! I, for example, created a pair of sickeningly decadent floral earrings that double as wind chimes probably, and am in the midst a bandana extravaganza, the wearing of which make me look like I’m on vacation every day of the week! Force yourself to get creative with your possessions and you might be surprised by what your brain has waiting just around the riverbend.

It’s also enormously more eco-friendly and this planet needs all the friends it can get.

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